Friday, July 19, 2013

Day 7 of the Apocalypse! Misty Provencher, Author of Cornerstone + Giveaway (INT)


Only two days left, people! Is everything ready? Are your affairs in order? Did you say your good-byes? Hopefully the end won't be to painful, but I know I'll miss you guys. This past week has been such an amazing experience.

Today, I welcome Misty Provencher, author of the Cornerstone series. Misty is a great writer and an all-around awesome individual. The more I talk to her, the more I like her, and her books are different, well-written and totally addictive. I asked Misty to join us today and she didn't even hesitate, even though she was on vacation at the time. So instead of rambling on, I'll let you enjoy her lovely post.

    

Top 5 Snacks to Bring to Your Friendly Neighborhood Apocalypse


1. TWINKIES, OF COURSE. 

 This is a no-brainer, which is a real drag if we happen to be talking Zombie Apocalypse. Twinkies were before their time and nearly CAUSED an apocalypse recently when Hostess temporarily decided to yank them from production. These snacks are portable (for on-the-go survivors), soft (if partygoers have lost their teeth due to radiation), easy to hide from others in a pocket, their taste and nutritional value remains unaffected when mashed in their wrapper, and these heavenly, golden non-food items will never expire. If you happen to have the good fortune of working in a Twinkie factory at the time that world chaos breaks out, I suggest you slam the doors on civilization and throw the Twinkie-making machines against them. Barricade yourself in the one commune that offers the opportunity of mass-producing your non-food sustenance for years to come. Hell, under those circumstances, you could get quite a trade system going and might even have the opportunity to Twinkie yourself into a formidable empire. 

On the other hand, if you are simply attending a post-apocalyptic or a verge-of-the-apocalypse event, Twinkies again are the most suitable, event appropriate snack that will be enjoyed by any partygoers that might show up for the festivities, human or cockroach. And you can get them with festive green filling that Apocalypse survivors will appreciate!


2. BEAN SPROUTS 

This is your safest bet ever. Ain’t nobody gonna steal your bean sprouts out from under you, no matter how hungry they might ever be or might get. Let’s face it…folks’ll kill you faster than an asteroid shower if they find out you’ve got Twinkies, but if you’re armed with bean sprouts? Baby, you can walk the streets eating to your heart’s content.


3. SURPLUS BRAINS

This one’s tricky. If you aren’t sure about which sort of apocalypse you’re involved in, you might want to stock up on brains to be on the safe side. Remember, variety is appreciated. Hamster and gerbil brains should be carried in quantity, like mixed nuts. The self-inflated, flabby brains of the scientists and/or weather men that inappropriately predicted your particular apocalypse would also be a great choice. The best choice. The most sought-after delicacy, in fact, even if there is no Zombie apocalypse.


4. CHOCOLATE SAUCE 

Chocolate sauce is a flexible little condiment that can make any of your Apocalyptic snack choices all the rave. Throw some sauce on Twinkies and you have a tasty dessert; swirl them into bean sprouts and you can almost pretend you’re not actually eating sprouts; chuck them on a bowl of brains and now you’ve got a party. Chocolate sauce takes the Apoca out of your lypse and replaces it with a pure, fountain of goodness. 



5. A FRIEND 

Your friends might not appreciate the invite, but I assure you, they never have to know. Just invite them along on your journey into the Post Apocalyptic landscape! It’s always best to bring a friend, who might serve as a portable snack for you or for others, as you run away. And don’t’ forget: a good friend can go a long way! 


Thanks so much for having me along for some fun, Maja!


About Misty:
Once a high school drop out and runaway, Misty Provencher became a college grad, and is now a full-time novelist with a close knit family. She doesn't do labels well. While she can ride a motorcycle, knows how to Karate chop, and has learned enough French, Spanish, and Sign Language to get herself slapped, Misty's life is the ruse she uses to connect with people. She is totally enchanted with them and spends her days trying to translate the soul bouquet of her muses into words.

Misty Provencher lives in Michigan. Knock on her internet blog door at: Misty Provencher's Books, http://mistypro.blogspot.com/ or find her on Facebook and Twitter as Misty Provencher.

Giveaway time! One winner will receive Cornerstone and Keystone ebooks, gifted from Amazon. This giveaway is international, and trust me when I tell you, you WANT to read these books. I love them so, so much. Good luck, everyone!


51 comments:

  1. You are so right about bean sprouts. When they show up at salad bars, I'm like, "WTF? Who would pick these?" I'd rather have nothing than bean sprouts. (spoiler alert: I've never had NOTHING for several days so this comment only applies to Days 1-3 of the apocalypse) As for the bring a friend suggestion, I'd think I'd rather bring a really witty, sexy enemy. At least that way I could enjoy the conversation and ... until I tripped them to save myself from the oncoming zombie horde. Great post!

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    1. I know, Flannery, right? Noshing on bean sprouts isn't even for the birds. They don't like them either.

      I love the way you think though- witty, sexy, enemy? What a great idea. When it comes down to tripping them up, it's without the guilt of friendship! LOL

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  2. Lol. Twinkies are the best. They'll be the food of the apocalypse for sure.

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    1. I do believe all the best Apocalypse parties will have them, Meryvamp!

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  3. LOL! I love Misty! I so need to read this series by her! I have no idea why I keep putting it off especially since I loved all her other books I have read.
    Great guest post!

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    1. Oh Kindlemom, don't think I've given up stalking you and waving my series in front of your nose. I shall get you to read one day...OH YES, I SHALL! :) Please?

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  4. OMG! I love this post! I would totally eat my bestie. (not really)

    Thanks for sharing, Maja! <33

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    1. No shame in the game, Melanie! You can totally nosh on a bestie if the need arises. They'd let you. After all, isn't that what friends are for? Hee hee

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  5. Bean sprouts. *snort* I think I might try to fend someone off with them -- a handful of sprouts to the face has got to be a deterrent. And Twinkies would make the tooth loss better.

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    1. You may be onto something, Mary. Bean Sprout Weaponry. Bean sprout canonballs. Sprout bullets. They hit you and explode into your system, choking out your tastebuds so you can't even enjoy the Twinkies. *shivers at the thought* That's some frightening warfare, right there.

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  6. Hmmm. I think I'll pass on the brains, but I'd be happy to have everything else with me in the event of an apocalypse! Chocolate sauce would be key - I'm a picky eater so I'd need to drizzle that on anything nasty I'd be forced to eat to survive:) And a friend would be fabulous, I'd definitely want company as I struggled, though I like to think I wouldn't use them as a shield or trip them so I could be the one who runs faster. Hard to say in a survival situation though ;-)

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    1. You may forgo the brains, Jenny, but you be careful, girlfriend, if you're friend is packin' a double barrel of Hershey's syrup. Your bestie might get a hankering for YOUR lovely brain. Eeeeeeekkkk!!

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  7. Sounds like a good series! I hope I win a copy. Thanks for the chance! :)

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    1. Bringin' extra to UtopYA next year, Candace. Don't mind me if I drizzle it over your crown...nom nom nom!

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  9. LOL! This is a funny guest post! :D
    Love Misty's ideas, especially the chocolate sauce idea and the bean sprouts (although those things are nasty! Eww!)
    Thanks for sharing, Maja! Misty is one funny lady!

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    1. Oh and Maja, just to let you know, the tweet in the rafflecopter is more than 140 characters.

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    2. Thank you, Nick! Hope you're armed with all the necessary delicacies to get you through the Apocalypse!

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  10. Big ol' LOL at the bean sprouts! I never would've thought of that!

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    1. Oh, the bean sprouts. Safest, eh...food?...on the planet!

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  11. This was such a fun post Maja & Misty! Those are some good tips too! Chocolate covered bean sprouts sound like a good game plan in the event of an apocalypse.

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    1. Thank you for saying, Donna! Chocolate covered bean sprout BARS! I think we've got to whip up that recipe for the Apocalypse party!

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  12. HA the chocolate sauce in genius! Chocolate makes everything better. Want to know something crazy about me? I have never eaten a Twinkie! I hear that I am really missing out. I'll have to grab some and try one!

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    1. Jenni, I'm so relieved that you didn't say you've never eaten a brain! >whew!< I won't have to worry about you in the Apocalypse!

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  13. In some situations I know I would be brainless... not just with me *cough* but with those around me. ;) Oh and I would substitute bean sprouts with other sprouts. Try broccoli sprouts. Tastier and healthier plus once everyone knows it's broccoli, no one will take them. ;)

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    1. True. I suppose any sprout is a good bet. Especially when made into Donna Smith's finger-lickin' Bean Sprout Bars!

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  14. I love this post! What a fun read ...and ... I never thought about beansprouts ... hmmmm ... I need to add that to my post-apocalyptic trove! Thanks for the smile.

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    1. You are most welcome, Julie. Glad we could help you with your apocalypse stocking!

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  15. I'm loving this feature! The posts have been so much fun.

    But....I would steal your bean sprouts :-)

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  16. And at last I made it to this post! Thanks for saving the day and guest posting for The Apocalypse. It's a damn good thing they brought Twinkies back, Seriously what other food has an indeterminable shelf life? Bean Sprouts...who,the hell eats those? I guess if I had to, maybe with chocolate sauce. Misty you know you are guest posting for me during Wicked, right?

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    1. You know how much I dread guest posting, Heidi! You and Maja are my Achilles heels!

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  17. Bwahahaha! I LOVE alfalfa sprouts on my salad and sandwiches, so I'll sub them for the bean sprouts. Love the post, you two.

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    1. YOU are going to do fine in the Apocalypse, Christy!

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  18. Mhmm chocolate! Plenty of it. We don't have Twinkies here! but they look delicious. Great guest post.
    PS. Maja I remember seeing your review for these books and I added them on my to read list then. I can't wait to read them.

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    1. Thank you, Tanja! I hope you'll enjoy the stories and come back around to let me know what you think!

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  19. I'd actually prefer sprouts over brains. Weird, huh? I mean, who does that? Sprouts are like THE anathema to a content stomach. But brains just don't float my boat. :P

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    1. I hear you, Story. But those brains aren't for you to eat- they are meant to throw to the Zombies so THEY don't eat you! Thank goodness, huh? I couldn't stomach the brains either!

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  20. Oh Misty, this is completely hilarious! I was cracking up the whole time reading this. Very helpful points here that I need to jot down. You are so right there WAS an almost apocalypse over Twinkies when we thought we'd never get them again! They are perfect for disaster prep storage with the almost non-existent expiration date. Bean sprouts, blech! But with chocolate sauce, maybe.... Nope, take that back, still blech!

    Thanks for the laughs and giveaway, Maja and Misty! :)

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    1. I'm so sorry I missed all these comments! Thank you so much, Rachel! I'm glad you enjoyed the post.

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  21. Bean sprouts?! I suppose that is clever, but I'd probably end up starving myself to death. ;) I'd much rather have Twinkies, which look far nicer. I've never tried them before though - they don't make them over here (or if they do, no one has told me!). :D

    A really fun guest post! I really do need to try some of Misty's books soon. :)

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    1. I hope you'll try the stories, Sam! The feedback I get on them is wonderful and I'd love to hear yours if you decide to read!

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  22. Ahaha, some good ideas, actually! It would never occur to me to pack bean sprouts, but Misty's right - who would want to steal bean sprouts? Though the chocolate sauce and twinkies would definitely be more preferable taste-wise. Mmm, and now I'm imagining drizzling chocolate sauce over twinkies and gorging myself...

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    1. I was worried you were going to say 'drizzling chocolate on bean sprouts'!! Hahahahaha- I'd totally join you for chocolate on Twinkies, Aylee!

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  23. Loved the "Top 5 Snacks to Bring to Your Friendly Neighborhood Apocalypse"!! That is so awesome!! I'll definitely have to remember this one! Misty your series sounds SO GOOD!!! I cannot wait to read them!! I do have a question for you, Is that a real tattoo by your eye? I totally LOVE IT! I want one like that!! Its gorgeous! Thank you so much for this awesome giveaway!!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Lisa! I hope you'll enjoy the stories! No, it's not a tattoo, just cosmetics. I enjoy a little face artistry from time to time! Thank you for commenting!

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  24. I'm staying as far away from bean sprouts (I don't like veggies) and brains but I will take the Twinkies (which I've actually never tried but anything sweet is something I'm interested in; are they sold in Canada?) and chocolate syrup.

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    1. Sweet = yum Totally agree, Canadian Girl!

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  25. Haha, love this post! Remind me to never accept any invitations from Misty. I'm afraid I'd be on the menu. Totally agree with Twinkies and chocolate sauce. Brains in theory would be good, but I don't know if I could handle them without getting sick. :-)

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    1. LOL!! Beware of the invitations...heehee!

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