Saturday, February 11, 2012
Armageddon Bound by Tim Marquitz
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Sometime not too long ago, God and Lucifer sat down to talk and concluded that they’d had enough of the never-ending battle between Good and Evil. They decided to abandon ship altogether, and as they did, they left no instructions for either of their armies. With their disappearance, the supernatural community fell into a huge turmoil. There were those who felt that it’s time to bring about the Armageddon, and those who were ready to do anything to defend humanity.
Frank “Triggaltheron” Trigg is Lucifer’s favorite nephew, also known as the idiot who was offered the position of new Anti-Christ by Lucifer himself and who smoothly turned him down. Not very powerful in his own right, he has to rely on the few vials of his uncle’s blood to stay alive and in one piece. Despite his nefarious heritage, Trigg is a member of DRAC – Demonic Resistance and Containment, a group of supernatural beings determined to stop the Armageddon. As the threat becomes more serious, Frank has to work with his angel cousin Scarlett and the vampire Katon, and he might just have to sell his soul twice in order to save the world.
My entire devilish life had been built around the premise of getting screwed and not in a fun, porn star way. It was most often in the prison kind of way, getting sucker punched and waking up with a sore ass and with some big guy named Bubba sitting on the bunk smoking a cigarette and heating up a branding iron.
Here’s a very important thing you need to know about Frank: he’s a pig. He only cares about three things in life: preventing the Armageddon, sex and, well… sex! He makes sexual innuendos and horrible puns all the time. He even shamelessly lusts after his cousin Scarlett, who insists on distracting him from his very important tasks with her leather-clad ass. In the constant battle between Frank’s human side and his devilish instincts, his crotch usually overrides both. He was married to a succubus after all, knowing full well the consequences. In words of his cousin Scarlett, directed to him: "If we have to rely on what's inside your head that doesn't relate to porn, we're screwed."
I think Urban Fantasy (or dark UF or horror or whatever you want to call it) needs more male author – male protagonist combos. It was almost like I was reading another genre altogether. Everything was there: action, an amazing set of characters, incredible humor, but no emotional struggles whatsoever (unless you count the war between Frank’s brain and that other thing he thinks with). Trigg isn’t just a breath of fresh air, he is a damn hurricane, and he certainly swept me off my feet. It didn’t take long for him to become my favorite underdog ever, despite all his flaws. What can I say? I have a soft spot for jerks.
Even though I’m only now reviewing book 1, I’d already finished book 2 (and loved it!) and I just downloaded the free short story about Scarlett and got the third novel from Amazon. I do believe that I won’t rest until I read every single word about Frank Marquitz has written so far.
I definitely need to thank Bastard @ Bastard Books for giving me a chance to win both Armageddon Bound and Resurrection. I’m officially hooked.